Joie De Vivre

I clearly remember the first day I met her in college. Tall, broad frame, straight hair, bulbous nose, lively eyes. She always looked as if she was hiding some mischief in those eyes, ready to laugh and spread the joy around.

It was very easy to become her friend with her ready wit. A true joie de vivre was shining from her, always.

I still remember the day when the most good looking guy in college fell to her charms and we were all left gasping. What has she got that we haven't? We didn't really see what men saw in her. She was as good looking as the rest of us were.

What was it about her that so many boys made a beeline for her, wanting to chat her up, be her friend, be more ...

And it was always her who wanted out of every crush first. She set the terms and dictated it. Not because she was high handed. She was in fact quite caring but she just always happened to fall out of love almost as soon as she fell in it, or maybe 6 months later, a typical Libran.

We lost touch after she got married. It was than that I heard that at the age of 32 she had breast cancer.

I was devastated. Such a cheerful, charming, witty person ready to embrace life and what's happened.

I met her expecting to see a depressed person, whom I would want to cheer up etc. but I had underestimated her, as always.

She shocked me when she spoke about how she got a wig made in anticipation of her surgery, what are the advances in medicines, how important it is to go to the right doc. She even joked how the doc was good looking and in different circumstances, she might have made a pass at him.

She had got an implant made within her skin where the docs injected the chemos and showed off the coin shaped thing. She was even thinking of writing a book about how every woman should screen themselves above 35 and how ultrasounds are better than mammograms etc. She joined a support group where nobody was allowed to wallow in self pity.

She didn't even inform her husband who was pursuing a post graduate degree in another country, so that he could finish his course in peace. Meanwhile she kept working part time, kept her spirits up, went for chemos and used to go to ice cream parties with other women in her office.

I met her once in between and she was looking radiant. A new set of hair had come after chemo and they were jet black and curly. She had lost a lot of weight and looked like a model straight out of Vogue's pages.

We kept in touch over phone. She kept up with her routine checks and radiations (and how it gave her a nice tan).

Than she adopted a baby girl to bring sunshine into her life and she truly did. Bouncing into her life like Tigger and taking away all thoughts of depression if it ever came.

I met her again yesterday. She has lost a lot of weight. Her cancer spread to her back and brain. In her words, she found a new normal in her life. She didn't give up. She got her brain radiated to eradicate the cancer. It didnt go away completely. Than the docs put a new machine on top of her head, painful aneasthesia injections. She screamed but wanted to see it through and did precisely that. She even got a photo of herself clicked in that Star Wars headgear making a V sign, on the hospital bed.

It's not that she doesn't cry or get depressed, but she bounces out of it and has decided to have a positive choice and outlook in her life.

She is prepared for all eventualities and when I asked her, "Why you?" She said, "Why not me?" I would rather let it be me than see my loved ones go through this.

We had a cold coffee with ice cream over a long chat.

I love her and I am so proud of her.

And the battle continues...

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